Don't Speak
by McHottie
Summary: Addison has been gone for over a year. When she receives a shocking phone call from SGH, she packs up and moves back to Seattle and all the feelings she left behind. In the face of tragedy, Addison must decide what, and who, she wants most. Maddison
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's because if I did, I wouldn't be working at a job that really sucks. I'd be laying by the pool drinking Cosmopolitans. **

_How did you let this happen? You were so close. She wanted you, and yet, you let her get away. Again. _He cried out in frustration before kicking the wall. _How could I have known? I thought it was just testosterone. But, I was wrong. I love her. Now, it's too late because she's gone. She left without saying "good-bye" to any one. Maybe we didn't mean that much to her after all…No! That can't be true. She loves us. Or, at least, I thought she did._ His head in his hands, he wondered how this could have happened. _You should've told her how you feel. Maybe she would've stayed for you._ This time, he slammed his fist into a locker. Blood came to his knuckles and spilled over his hand. _Damn it. Fucking son of a bitch._ _All those times I wanted to tell her. I tried, but she wouldn't…or couldn't…listen._ He thought he'd gotten over her for good, but every now and again something would bring back the memory. And he'd struggle with himself. It was his fault she left in the first place, and he didn't try to hold on.

"Chief?" a light knock sounded on his office door.

"What?" he was angry, though not at the nurse he just yelled at.

"I…I'm sorry," she stammered and began to back away. "There's a patient in the pit…"

"What's the problem?"

"Well, someone just dropped her off. She stumbled into the ER and passed out before being registered. She's been beaten pretty badly. The police want to speak with you."

"Fine. Tell them I'm on my way."

He took his time gathering a few things together. Whenever police were involved, he knew he could expect to be delayed for at least an hour. After a pit stop to refill his favorite travel mug, the one she'd bought him for Christmas so long ago, he headed down to the pit. The sight that greeted him nearly caused him to drop his mug, not to mention lose his lunch. _It's her! How can this be? What the hell happened?_ He tried to remain calm as he approached the patient and police officers. He turned to the resident.

"Patient's name?"

"Driver's license says her name is Erika Nicole Winthrop."

_It's not her! It's her sister! I'd forgotten just how much those two look alike. _A sigh of relief followed the identification.

"Apparently she was attacked. No sign of rape. No money or credit cards in her wallet. No cell phone. GSW to the left shoulder. No exit wound. Currently stable. We'll be proceeding with surgery within the hour. And whoever the perp was tried to slit her throat. She must've tried to run. It wasn't deep."

"I'll take it from here. Dr. Grey, were you the original physician?"

"Yes, sir."

"Please answer the officers' questions. I'm going to take her on back to surgery."

"Sure thing, Chief," she leaned closer to him and whispered, "Do you know her?"

"What? Why would you think…"

"Forgive me, sir, for being presumptuous, but there was a look…"

"No, Lexie, I don't know her." _Anymore._

After several hours of reconstructive and reparative surgery, Mark Sloan emerged from the OR exhausted but satisfied. The bullet was removed without any complications, and he did some reconstructive plastics on her neck. However, the blow to her head had done a lot of damage. Derek performed a flawless craniotomy. Nikki would be just fine, if she ever woke up, that is. _She deserves to know that her sister is at Seattle Grace. I should be the one to call her._ He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed a number that he'd memorized long ago.

"Addison Montgomery," was the short, businesslike greeting that met Mark's ears after one ring.

He nearly dropped the phone. Hearing her voice after eighteen long months was completely amazing. Before their one night stand, Mark didn't go a day without talking to Addison for at least a few minutes. They had always been there for each other. When she and Derek would fight, he would hold her close and tell her everything would turn out okay. When he'd come home from a bar completely wasted, she'd make sure he was okay. She sat with him in the bathroom floor more times than he could remember. Then, she'd tuck him into bed with a bottle of Evian and some Tylenol on the nightstand. A few times, she'd slept on the covers next to him, just to be sure he'd be alright. The next morning, she would always have breakfast ready so that he would be on the fast track to recovering from his hangover. She never failed to have one of his favorite breakfasts waiting on him: homemade blueberry muffins, pancakes with his favorite gourmet bacon, or homemade doughnuts.

"Addie? It's Mark. How are you?"

"Fine," her tone was cool.

"There has been a…umm…an accident. Your sister was attacked. She's alive, but she is in a coma. Derek doesn't know for sure that she'll come out of it. I'm so sorry, Addie."

"My…Mark…?" she was stunned speechless by the sudden bad news and the fact that Mark was delivering the bad news to her.

"Nikki's out of surgery. If you want to come see her, I'll let you pass on visitor's rules. I know it will be late when you get here."

"Thanks, Mark. I'll…um…Call when I get to Seattle."

_I hope Nikki is okay. I have to get there as soon as I can._ She began throwing things into a suitcase though her entire body felt numb. Focusing solely on her sister, Addison called LAX to see when the soonest flight to Seattle was scheduled. She tried to force the fact that Mark had been the one to call her out of her mind. Needless to say, it didn't work. _Derek did the craniotomy. He should've been the one to call me. Why did Mark call instead. What was Nikki doing in Seattle anyway? My baby sister. Mark. Oh, God._

"Where are you going?" Pete had just walked into the bedroom of Addison's apartment.

"Seattle."

"Why?" his tone was edgy and anxious.

"My little sister has been…hurt. I have to go see her. She's at Seattle Grace."

"Isn't that where your ex-husband and…that one guy work?"

"Yes, but…"

"Are you going to see one of them?"

"No! My sister is in a coma! I want to see her before…just in case…Anyway, I'm going to Seattle tonight."

"I'll come with you."

"No!" she shouted. "I'm sorry. It's just that it would probably be best for you to stay here. You have to work tomorrow, and I'm not sure when I'll be back."

"That's fine. If you don't want me to be with you, then I'll stay here."

"It's not like that, Pete. I have to go now. I'm sorry."

As she walked toward the bedroom door, Pete grabbed her and kissed her. He tried to pull her down onto the bed next to him, but she backed away. His lips weren't soft like Derek's. They didn't taste sweet like Mark's. The emotions that Derek, and later Mark, had brought to her mind weren't present when he kissed her. They never had been and probably never would be. She was kidding herself each time she looked into the mirror and told herself that they were there and that she was perfectly happy to be marrying Pete. She left him standing in the bedroom and headed to the airport.

**AN: What do you think? Should I continue? Other chapters will be longer.**


	2. Chapter 2

Thunder boomed and rain poured out of the black sky as Addison tried to cover herself with the small umbrella that matched her luggage. _How could I have forgotten how much it rains in Seattle? I guess this is what it means to be spoiled on LA weather._ Cursing the rain and the miniscule umbrella, Addison ran out to her rental car, luggage in tow. She tossed the luggage into the trunk, and jumped into the driver's seat. It was almost midnight by the time she arrived at Seattle Grace, but she'd told Mark that she would call. She decided to risk waking him.

"Sloan," he sounded tired, but he was not asleep.

"Mark? It's Addison. I'm in Seattle. My plane just landed. It was delayed due to the storm."

"Welcome back to Seattle," he laughed nervously.

"Uh...Thanks. So, I'm outside of the hospital."

"I'm still here with the police."

A part of him didn't want to go with her when she went to see her sister, but he didn't want her to be alone (or with anyone else.) He showed the officers, who were finally finished gathering evidence and information, out of his office and went to meet Addison. She was standing at the information desk when he came around the corner. For a moment, before she noticed him, he let everything about her sink in. She'd become even more beautiful, if that was possible, he thought, since she'd been gone. Her amazing red hair was now curly. He always loved the way her hair looked in a curly mess on top of her head. Though it was after midnight, and she'd no doubt had a long day, she still looked impeccable. Not a single hair was out of place; her make-up was perfect. There wasn't a single wrinkle, that he could see, in her white pants and lacy purple shirt. He couldn't take his eyes off her curves. Turning on the spot, Addison spotted him staring at her and walked over. He couldn't help but stare at the way her body moved. _I was an idiot. 100 percent jackass. I wish I could sweep her off her feet and kiss her without getting slapped._

"Hello, Mark," she spoke with a calm, cool tone, one that he did not expect given her baby sister was in the ICU in a coma.

"Hey, Addie. You... look great. How are you? Was your flight okay?"

"Fine, thanks. A lot of turbulence from the storm. Where is Nikki?"

"She's in the ICU. I'll show you to her room," he reached out to take her hand, but she pulled back. He took her by the elbow instead, and she reluctantly allowed it.

As they approached the ICU, Addison and Mark both sensed the commotion surrounding room 224. Nurses were entering and leaving at a fast pace, and there were several different beeping sounds. Addison, realizing room 224 to be Nikki's room, froze in step. She looked from the room to Mark, trying to confirm her suspicions. In response, Mark nodded gravely. Just as Addison was preparing to turn and run the other way, Derek emerged from the room. He immediately noticed Addison and headed their way.

"Hi, Addie," he greeted her, taking both her hands in his and kissing her cheek. "How are you?"

"I'm holding up. How's Nikki. Tell me the truth," her voice shook as she choked back tears.

"She's not doing so well right now, I'm afraid. She had a seizure just now and coded on us, but she's stable again. We gave her a dose of phenolbarbitol. The good news is, her surgery was very successful. When," _Or, if,_ "She wakes up, she should make a full recovery. As you know, I can't say for sure that there isn't any brain damage, but we're very hopeful."

"Thanks, Derek. Can I see her?"

"Of course," he led her into the room, and Addison immediately began to sob at the sight of her sister on the gurney.

_She looks so much like Daddy did, laying there. She's so pale and seems so small. Oh! Her throat. Her hair. Her beautiful face. Oh, Nikster, you have to pull through this._ What was left of Nikki's hair was matted with blood. The vast majority of her trademark red locks had been shaved by Derek's team. Addison had to force herself to look away from Nikki's throat. No one had told her that her throat had been slit. The bandages on her shoulder begged more questions. She turned to Mark.

"What, exactly, happened to her?"

"She was attacked and somehow showed up in the ER. We can only assume that someone dropped her off," noticing the look Addison was giving Nikki's shoulder, he decided to address that first, "GSW. I removed the bullet. It didn't hit anything vital. She shouldn't have much of a scar," he gave Addison a small smile, confident in his abilities as a plastic surgeon.

"With you doing the sutures, I wouldn't expect any less," she paused, gazing at her sister's broken body, "And her throat?"

"Laceration wasn't very deep. Best we can figure, she got away before...She shouldn't have much of a scar there either. Our main concern right now is her head injury. The bastard gave her a good blow to the head. She was barely conscious when she arrived."

Addison collapsed into a hard plastic chair next to Nikki's bed, took her pale hand, and sobbed into the sheet. Unsure of how to respond without upsetting Addison more, Mark stood rooted in place next to the door, Nikki's chart in one hand. His other hand burned to touch Addison's hair, to hold her hand in his. He stepped a little closer, and put the chart in the rack on the wall. When Addison didn't look up, he moved a chair next to her and sat down. It was then that she seemed to remember he was in the room.

"Mark?" she whimpered.

"Yeah?" his reply was barely above a whisper. He wanted to hold her so badly.

As if she read his mind, Addison turned to face him and held out a hand, one that he glady noticed did not bear an engagement or other type of ring. What he didn't know was that she'd taken it off on the plane. She wasn't sure why she did it, but she didn't feel like telling him about Pete, yet. He took her shaking hand in his, and she pulled him closer to her before giving up completely and putting her head onto his shoulder. Breathing in the smell of her hair and perfume, he wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried. Her entire body shook with her sobs, and she began to cough as she struggled for breath. He held her back from himself and wiped her tears with his thumbs.

"Addie, you need to try to breathe."

She nodded, still crying in a hiccup-y sort of way. Before he could think about what he was doing, Mark had pulled her completely into his arms, her legs dangling over the arm of his chair. She sighed into his shoulder, and her breath tickled his neck. It was nearly impossible for him not to shiver. They sat together, Addison still holding onto Nikki's hand, for a long time, before Mark spoke again.

"You need to get some rest."

"But I can't...I don't...What if something happens after I leave her?" Addison was full of worries and concerns.

"Do you have a hotel?"

"No. I didn't think to try and get a reservation."

"I have a sleeper sofa in my office. You could sleep there tonight."

"But..."

"No 'buts'. You can sleep in my office. Come on, and I'll help you get settled in. That's the closest you'll be able to get to Nikki."

"Okay."

As Mark led the way, he tried to figure out how to tell her that he'd been made Chief of Surgery after Derek turned the position down. _The sign above my door will probably be pretty obvious. I should tell her myself._ They walked down the long, cold office corridor until Mark suddenly stopped short.

"This isn't your office. It says 'Anesthesiology'."

"I know. There's something you should know," he paused to watch her expression change from tired to curious and back to tired again. "After you left for LA, I was made Chief of Surgery."

"You? Chief? I have to say, I'm not surprised."

"You're not?" he figured she would have expected Preston or Derek to be chief.

"No. I always thought it would be you or Preston, but when I heard that he'd relocated to Cleveland Clinic, I thought it was probably you."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I mean, Derek's great and all, but his whole relationship with Meredith thing would have made being chief really hard."

"Richard picked him first, but he didn't want it."

"Yeah, Derek knew he wouldn't do as a good a job as someone else."

"You know what?" he asked, and she shrugged, "Derek was the one to suggest me. We've been trying to work things out between us."

"Good."

They continued along the corridor until Mark stopped at the Office of the Chief of Surgery. He led Addison into the large office and pulled the sofa bed out. Noticing that her luggage was not with her, he handed her a pair of scrubs from his stash. Then, he pulled the blue chenille throw from the back of the sofa and draped it over the bed. From the closet came pillows and sheets, all pale blue with navy pinstripes. When he turned from making the sofa bed, he found Addison standing in a bra and his scrub pants, which hung a little too loosely around her small waist. _She's thinner than she used to be, but she still has great curves._ His entire face flushed to a shade of scarlet he'd never felt before, and his body burned with desire. _I am the world's biggest jackass. Her sister is practically dying, and all I can think of is how to get her naked._

"Sorry," she replied, seeing his embarrassment. "I was trying to get changed before you turned back around."

"No, I'm sorry," he said and immediately turned back around.

"It's okay. I'm dressed now."

"Is there anything you need?"

"Umm...no...well...no."

"Addie? Are you sure?"

"Well, I just...don't want to be alone," for the first time since arriving in Seattle, she was beginning to miss Pete.

"Okay. I can see if Callie is around tonight. Or Miranda."

"Oh. Okay," her disappointment surprised him.

"What?"

"I was sort of hoping, if you don't have somewhere to be, that _you_ would stay with me."

"Yeah. I can stay."

"You don't have someone waiting or anything?"

"Addison, if you're trying to ask me if I'm married, the answer is no. I haven't had a relationship in a while."

"No women for Dr. Mark Sloan?" she teased. "I guess being chief doesn't leave you much time."

"Nope. No women_." Not since you_.

"Wow. I'm proud of you," she was obviously surprised.

"Thanks a lot, Addison," it was his turn to tease.

She shrugged, giving him one of her classic 'looks', before crawling onto the sofa bed. He sat down next to her after she patted the empty space. At her suggestion, he took off his shoes and tie and stretched out next to her, on top of the sheets and blanket. Each lay lost in thought for a long time, both aware of the mere three inches between them_. I think I've missed him. I wonder if he's missed me too... I need to ask him how everyone else is tomorrow. I bet Miranda's son has grown up so much. Mark's changed a lot, that's for sure. I should call Pete and tell him that my plane made it safely. I wish Mark would put his arms around me again. I have missed him. I loved him, but now I love Pete. Don't I? Damn it. _She finally drifted off to sleep and was vaguely aware of Mark pulling her into his chest, his rhythmic breathing bringing the same comfort that it had on those lonely nights so long ago.

**AN: Thanks for all the great reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

A bright ray of sun, rare in Seattle, was shining between the slightly open blinds the next morning. When the brightness grew to an unbearable yellow glow, Addison stirred and pulled the pillow over her eyes. It took a moment for her to adjust to her surroundings and remember what was going on and where she was. Mark's sofa bed hadn't been too comfortable, but being there in his arms was better than a lonely hotel room. She stretched a little, looking to see if Mark was anywhere to be found. The spare suit on the back of his office door was no longer in its place. Mark's desk was littered with the usual things: charts, empty coffee cups, and memos. However, the one thing that she was looking for was missing. There wasn't a half eaten scone or piece of coffee cake anywhere to be seen. Stretching again, she turned over on the sofa bed to find a note on the other pillow.

_Addie,_

_I went to check on your sister and a few other patients. I brought your suitcase in from the rental car. It's behind my desk. You are welcome to use my shower, but there isn't a blow dryer. Page me when you get ready, and I'll meet you for breakfast. _

_Mark_

She stood and closed the bed back into the couch before heading into the minuscule bathroom. While she brushed her teeth, she let the water run to create more steam in the shower. Then, she stepped under the water, so hot that her skin burned and began to turn red. She adjusted the temperature slightly and stood, allowing the hot water to rush over her. The shower was calming and familiar. She'd showered at Seattle Grace more than she'd showered anywhere else in Seattle. The only difference was, this time, she didn't feel the need to wear a pair of wedged flip-flops. When she stepped out of the shower, clad only in the large and fluffy towel Mark had obviously not gotten from the linen department, Mark was sitting at his desk. She gasped, nearly dropping the towel that covered her wet, naked body. _Well, this is certainly more awkward than last night. God, she's gotten more beautiful. I can't believe I'd forgotten how good her body wash smells. It's sweet. Kind of coconut and pineapple-y. _Addison blushed to nearly the same color of her radiant red hair and ducked back into the bathroom.

"Mark? Could you hand me my clothes, please?"

"Uh. Yeah. Sure," he stuttered. "What do you…uh…need?"

The first thing he'd pulled from the boxcar on wheels was a lacy red bra. His face grew even hotter when he saw the matching underwear, and he shoved them into Addison's outstretched and waiting hand along with the first dress he came to.Minutes later, she emerged, hair still damp, in the pale blue dress that perfectly matched her eyes. She marched over to her luggage and removed a blow dryer from a small travel bag. After a few minutes, she stood straight again to find Mark still staring at her. _She is just amazing. If only I could pull her to me and…NO! Don't scare her off. Don't say a word._

"You're…beautiful…" he said, slightly breathless.

Her response was to stare pointedly at him. She gathered her things together and put them back into various bags before turning to him.

"Don't do this. I appreciate it, really I do, but don't. Don't tell me." _Because it hurts too much._

"I'm sorry, but you really do…"

"Stop explaining," she said through her teeth, before turning on her silver heel and prancing out of the room.

_Nice job. I either scared her or made her mad. Either way... I love her. I've missed everything about her, even her little redheaded temper, and now she's angry with me. __I need her. Ever since she left, I've felt so empty. Having her back at Seattle Grace seems to restore some semblance of balance to my world. And…I love her. I think I'm in love for the first time in my whole life._

" Addison, wait!" he called after her as he half ran to catch up.

"Go away!" she waved him off as if he were something slimey, but there was a hint of something in her voice.

Whether it was sadness or anger, he couldn't tell, but there was something there. Either way, she had some sort of feelings. He stared at the empty spot she'd left in his office. If he closed his eyes, he could smell her lingering perfume and almost feel her hair, but it wasn't good enough. He didn't want to smell a lingering scent, and pretend he could feel her soft hair. He wanted her with him more than ever in that moment and set out to tell her so. As he entered her sister's room, he was prepared to tell her exactly how he'd felt since she left, but a surprising sight shocked him to his very core.

"She's beautiful, Addie. She looks just like you," a voice he did not recognize was saying to Addison.

"Everyone always said no one would mistake us for strangers. It's the hair. That's what mom always says. We have Forbes hair," she replied, her fingers intertwined with the hand belonging to the strange voice.

It was at this point that Mark noticed something shiny on Addison's left hand. It was the biggest diamond he'd ever seen. Possibly, it was bigger than the one Derek had bought for his and Addison's fifth anniversary. The sight made him feel like screaming, and he couldn't prevent the hurt and angry look from coming over his face. Instead of speaking, he left the room, slamming the door slightly.

"Mark! Wait!" Addison's voice came after him seconds later. "Mark!"

He continued walking so quickly that Addison was almost running to catch up. When she finally caught up, breathless and red faced, she put her hand on Mark's arm, but he jerked away.

"Why didn't you tell me? I would've been happy for you," he growled.

"No, you wouldn't have, Mark, you would've been the way you are now. You would've pushed me away when I needed you to be there."

"You don't need me, Addison. You proved that when you left without saying good-bye."

"I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want you to beg me to stay. I wasn't sure I'd have the strength to say no, but Seattle didn't have anything left for me. There was no chance for me to be with Derek again, and I got a great offer from Naomi," she tried to explain, but he stood with his arms crossed and glared at her.

"Don't tell me," he threw her words back at her. _Because it hurts way too much._

"Mark!"

"No, Addison. It's my turn to walk away now. Go back to your husband or whoever the hell he is."

"Mark!" she tried to reach out to him, but he pushed her hand away and ran toward his office.

As she headed back to her sister's room, she noticed Pete standing just outside the door. She knew he'd heard everything they said.

"What was that about?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"Nothing."

"It didn't sound like 'nothing'."

"It's nothing, okay. I don't want to talk about something so petty when my sister could be dying."

"Was that the man you cheated on your husband with?"

"I can NOT believe you just asked me that question! My sister is in a coma, and all you are concerned about is the people in this hospital that I may have slept with! I can't believe this!" she shouted tearfully.

"I'm sorry, Addison," he'd never been able to bring himself to call her "Addie" as he knew that both Derek and Mark called her that.

"Will you just go back to LA already? You don't have a purpose in being here; you don't know Nikki."

"But I know you. I want to be here for you, but it seems to me that you don't want me here," he said accusingly.

"Pete, you have to work, and I'm not sure how long I'll be here with her. Tell Naomi I'll be back as soon as I can."

"You can't live in the hospital. Where are you staying?"

"Oh, I don't know yet. I know the couple that owns the inn next to the bay. I might go there," she referred to the hotel she'd lived in after moving to Seattle.

"Where did you stay last night?"

"Right here with Nikki."

"Mmm hmm," he nodded, but didn't really believe her. "I guess I'll go back to LA tonight then, if you don't want me to stay."

"Be careful. Call me when your flight lands."

"I will. I love you, Addison."

"I love you, too." _I think._

She walked out with him and waited until he got into a cab. When she returned to her sister's room, she was greeted by another swarm of doctors and nurses going in and out. She slipped in behind a nurse, and no one noticed her presence for a few moments. Derek was bent over Nikki's pale, lifeless body, paddles in his hands.

"Charge again," he commanded the nurse. _Zzzt._ "Nothing. Charge again to 300."

_Zzzt._ Again, nothing happened. Derek waited a moment before deciding on his next move.

"Asystole," Addison whispered, and Derek immediately turned to meet her eyes.

"Asystole," he repeated. "What do you want us to do, Addie?"

Suddenly, everything seemed brighter. The voices in the room echoed, and her head swam. She felt as though she'd stepped into the fun house she'd once gotten sick in as a child. The sharp pain in her chest made it difficult to breathe, but she forced herself to breathe anyway. _I can do this. I have to make my decision now. Live or die? _

**AN: Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I've been so busy lately, but I'm already working on the next chapter. Please, review and forgive me for my lack of updating.**


	4. Chapter 4

"Addie, we need a decision now," Derek's voice echoed through her mind, and everything felt as though it were a Lifetime movie she happened to be watching.

GAGAGAGAGAGA

"_So, how does it feel to finally be a doctor?" Nikki asked Addison after her final day of medical school._

"_It's great, so far, but internship is always the hardest. And, I still don't know if I want to do neonatal or obstetrics."_

"_You'll figure it out. Either way, you got into the best residency program. Everyone says so. I heard Mom telling her friends about how you got into the same program Dad did," she said wistfully for, at the mention of their father, both women grew misty eyed._

"_I know. Just promise me something, okay, Nik."_

"_Sure. Anything."_

"_If I'm ever really sick or hurt or something, please don't leave me hooked up to life support like Daddy. I don't want my family to suffer any more than they have to."_

"_Okay, Addie," Nikki nodded solemnly, understanding how hard their father's death had been on Addison. "You're…DNR…I get it."_

"_Thanks, Nik."_

"_Do the same for me, okay. If I can't do it on my own, let me go in peace."_

GAGAGAGAGAGA

"Addison! How do you want us to proceed?"

"She's DNR."

"Addie? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. She wouldn't want to live like this. Let her go down," her voice wavered slightly, but she kept her head held high.

The team of doctors and nurses surrounding Nikki's bedside stopped moving, and all the machines were beeping impatiently. Everyone watched in silence as Addison took Nikki by the hand. She held her breath, fighting the tears that threatened to spill over. _This is what Nik would want. _For a moment, the entire room went silent. Someone tried to suppress a cough.

"Bless you," Addison responded absently before realizing that the cough came from the gurney.

"Oh…mmm…" a faint moan followed the weak cough.

"Nikki?" Addison gasped.

"Ohhh…" another moan preceded the opening of Nikki's cerulean blue eyes.

"Nikki! Oh my God! Nikki!"

"Ads?" her voice was hoarse as she tried to focus on Addison and the room around her, but everything was spinning.

"Nikki! You're alive!" Addison gave her sister a gentle hug before bursting into tears.

"What…" she gasped for breath and spoke slowly "What…happened to me?"

It seemed every person in the room made eye contact with everyone else. No one quite knew how to respond. Derek watched Addison for some sign as to what she was thinking, but she was staring at Mark, who had suddenly appeared just inside the door. _I don't know how I would've made it last night without him. I don't know how I've made it this long without him…_

"Addie? What happened?" Nikki's voice snapped Addison out of her daze.

"Someone attacked you," Addison began slowly, "We're kind of hoping you could tell us who did it? Do you remember anything?"

"No, I…I…" Nikki's eyes filled with tears. "I don't know."

"Do you remember me?" Derek stepped closer to Nikki, ready to examine her.

"Of course I remember you. You left my sister for Seattle," she answered still weakly, but with a sly grin.

At this point, everyone in the room scattered, leaving only Addison, Derek, and Mark at Nikki's bedside. Addison stroked what was left of her baby sister's blood matted hair, while Mark flipped through the chart. Derek continued with his list of questions. When she'd answered everything satisfactorily, he informed the group that Nikki was probably only suffering from a temporary short term memory loss. _It's a miracle. She shouldn't have woke up from this, but Addie deserves a miracle or two._

"Can I talk to my sister alone?" Nikki asked, with a pointed glare at Shepherd and Sloan.

"Sure," Derek turned to leave the room and pulled Mark, who was staring intently at Addison's hair, with him.

"What's wrong, Nik?" Addie asked when the door had been shut behind the men.

"I sort of remember something….I think."

"What is it?"

"I remember arguing with my husband. And, later, wandering into the ER. He's been so mean to me lately, Addie. He's even hit me a few times."

"Do you think he did this to you?"

"I…It wouldn't surprise me. He threatened me a few weeks ago," she confessed, stifling a yawn.

"You need to tell Derek and the police."

As if reading Addison's mind, Derek knocked at the door along with two police officers. Nikki called out a greeting, and they entered.

"Are you feeling up to company, Nik?" Derek asked.

"I guess so," she answered, this time yawning openly.

"Hello, Mrs. Winthrop. Can we ask you a few questions?"

"Sure."

"What can you tell us about the attack on you?"

"I don't remember much, except that I'd argued with my husband. Everything goes blank until I stumbled into the ER, but that's even a little hazy. I just remember falling into a chair."

"Do you remember what you argued about with your husband?"

"No. We haven't been getting along well lately. He threatened me not too long ago, and he's hit me a few times."

"Do you remember why he threatened you?"

"He thought I was cheating on him," her voice cracked a little, "But I've never done that. I love him so much. I don't want him to be angry with me anymore."

"He called me once," Addison spoke quietly. "He said he hadn't seen Nikki in a while and wondered if I knew where she was. I didn't, but when I told him that, he got angry. He didn't believe me."

"Mmm 'kay," the other officer mumbled, taking notes all the while. "Is there anyone that could account for how Mrs. Winthrop arrived at Seattle Grace?"

"I'm not sure," Mark spoke this time. "I'd have to check with the ER nurses, but last night was fairly busy. We were pulling surgeons from all departments."

The officers continued to ask questions while Mark stared blankly at a point above the IV stand. Addison, on the other hand, was staring directly at Mark. _He's changed so much. He seems nicer, like he has empathy for others. He seems sad though, the way he's staring off into space all the time._ Soon, Nikki had drifted off to sleep, and Addison headed back to Mark's office to gather her things and try to find a hotel. She was packing her make-up back into her cosmetic bag, when she felt a presence behind her. Not daring to turn around, she continued putting things away.

Mark couldn't help himself. Every time he saw Addison, she was more beautiful. It was the way she bit her lip while thinking. Or, maybe it was the nervous way she toyed with her hair when things weren't going just right. Something about her made her seem more beautiful. Maybe, it was all the things he'd taken for granted before now: the cute curl of hair around her face that just wouldn't stay back, the perfect blue of her eyes that reminded him of trips to remote and wonderful islands, the way she'd put one hand on her hip and tilt her head when really concentrating on what someone was saying. Most importantly, he'd taken for granted just how much she cares about the people in her life, family and patients. _I shouldn't have let her go. Now she has someone who obviously doesn't treat her like the goddess she is. I'm so sorry, Addie, that I didn't treat you like the goddess you are._ He inched his way closer to her as she put every item from her make-up case back into its home. When he reached out to touch her hair, she immediately reached out and caught him.

"Mark?" her tone was slightly accusing.

"Addie, I'm so sorry. I can't begin to tell you how sorry," he was ready to apologize for nearly touching her and everything else.

"Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up," she commanded, pulling him into a deep kiss.

**AN: Don't hate me. Review and tell me what you think. I'll try my best to get the next chapter up soon, but organic chemistry is ruling my life as I prepare for the MCAT. **


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